You may have heard, Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey wants to climb Mount Kilimanjaro for charity next week. The Mets sent Dickey's agent a letter to cover themselves legally. Based on no information or actual knowledge, here is a copy of the letter.
It has been brought to our attention that you intend to
By the way, it's cold way up on that mountain. Like our-offense-with-the-bases-loaded cold. Like our-team-playing-meaningful-games-in-September cold. Colder than all-those-ice-packs- we-use-to-treat-our-best-players-all-the-time cold. Like 90%-of-the-$6-dollar-french-fries-we-sell cold. Like Sandy Alderson's-"I should have bought him a box of chocalates"-retort-to-Reyes cold. OK, probably not that cold, but still verrrry chilly!
With our luck, you'll get frostbite on your index and middle finger on your pitching hand and never be able to throw the knuckleball again. (although you could always cut them off and develop the Really-Split-Finger Fastball.)
Look, if this is something you just have to do, then while you are up there, can you look around for some gold or a long lost treasure or something? We'll let you keep most of it, but we could use some of it too. We'd be