I'm an unabashed fan of the Muppets. I've loved them since I can remember. I've seen their new movie twice, I've downloaded the soundtrack on iTunes, I have all five seasons of The Muppet Show on DVD, you get the picture. I'm also a huge Broncos fan. So with Tim Tebow getting all the praise, I thought I'd "light the lights" on the Broncos D by assigning them Muppets to coincide with their play.
Gonzo: DJ Williams.
Gonzo spent most of his life trying to figure out what he was. In Muppets from Space, Gonzo finally learns he is an alien and he gains inner peace. His trademark act is firing himself from a cannon, showing no regard for his well being. DJ Williams went to the University of Miami as a fullback. They converted him to a linebacker. The Broncos have played Williams at strongside, weakside, inside and middle linebacker. Finding his football identity has been a journey, too. Williams is also prone to fire himself out of the proverbial cannon at ball carrier, showing no regard for his body.
|Shot from a cannon|
Animal: Brian Dawkins. Animal is known for his yelling and banging on his drums. Dawkins is known for his pre-game yelling and banging on opposing players. Animal is said to have three styles of music, loud, louder and deafening. Dawkins has three styles of play, hard, harder and punishing. In A Muppet Family Christmas, Animal sees Cookie Monster devour a batch of cookies and says, "That's my kind of fella." I imagine all the other Broncos watch Dawkins devour offensive players and say "That's my kind of player."
The Electric Mayhem Band: Marcus Thomas, Robert Ayers, Broderick Bunkley, Chris Harris and Wesley Woodyard. Animal can bang on the drums all day long, but you need the band to really make music. This cast of other Bronco defenders have done their part to create mayhem for the opponents. During their 4-game win streak, Denver is giving up just 15 points a game. They've only allowed 221 pass yards a game, and just six TDs, in their five Tebow-lead wins. Put it all together and the Broncos D has been playing beautiful music together.
Sam the Eagle: Joe Mays. Sam is all business. Joe is all business. Sam is an eagle. Joe was an Eagle. Sam is the moral center of The Muppet Show who lashes out against "weirdos" and "namby-pamby conservationists."
Joe is the center of the Broncos emerging linebacker core who lashes out at running backs.
|The Vocal Eagle|
Pepe the King Prawn: Quinton Carter. Pretty much just because of the hair. That said, Carter has been awesome this year. The Broncos have a nice lineage of hard hitting safeties, and Carter looks like a guy who can carry on that tradition. Carter was sharing time with Rahim Moore, now he starts. Pepe used to share an elevator with Seymour the Elephant. Now he works alone. I'm not much for grandstanding from players, but if after he makes a big hit Carter wants to declare, "I am a King Prawn!!" I'm fine with that.
|I am a King Prawn!|
|I'm no shrimp, either|
Fozzie Bear: Andre Goodman. No one on the Muppet Show gets picked on more than Fozzie. No one on the Broncos gets picked on by the opposition more than Goodman. With Champ Bailey on the other side, opponents tend to throw darts at Andre, just like Waldorf and Statler fire bombs at Fozzie. To my novice eye, Goodman has played much better this season. Maybe Frank Oz is controlling him this year. Who will forget when Goodman picked off Mark Sanchez and Wocka, Wocka, Wocka'd into the end zone?
|Wocka, wocka, wocka!|
|Wocking in for 6!|
Dr. Bunson Honeydew: Dennis Allen, Defensive Coordinator. Dr. Honeydew spends all of his time trying out new inventions. Among his creations, edible paper clips, a banana sharpener and gold that turns into cottage cheese. In the end, almost all of his inventions end up exploding. Thankfully for Broncos fans, everything Allen has drawn up lately in his laboratory is blowing up opponents schemes, and not Beaker.
|Blows stuff up|
|Blows up offensive schemes|
Miss Piggy: ?? As the Diva of the Muppet Theater, Miss Piggy is all about Moi. She craves attention. She tries to upstage everyone else. She has to have top billing. Thankfully, as far as I can tell, the Broncos don't have a Miss Piggy on their defensive roster.
|There's no one like her|
|The unassuming star|
|He likes the pigskin|